i want to create, i want to use my brain, i want thoughts to appear in tiny cartoons from my ears and dance across the page. i keep thinking the paper will make words appear. i am still fucking blocked. i will write about not being able to create. i will write about not writing. i will start every sentence with "i". i was always my favorite, anyway. i want fruit on the bottom yogurt. i don't care if there's liquid on the top. i think that's what makes it good. i think you just have to mix it. i am reading some sad poetry and maybe that is what has been stifling my creativity or rather my ability to find these fucking words. i think the trouble is not only literary. i used to be able to write for hours, complete bullshit. i thought at least it was making my mind work. i don't really know if i have any bullshit, either. i should probably buy some new anti-virus software just to get this reminder from popping up all the time. i think that's it.