Just to see you torn apart,
Witness to your empty heart.
I need it.

-"no love lost"

here we are at my fucking blog where i have over 20 saved drafts of blank pages because i dont have the courage to write anything worthwhile or interesting.

"I want [my poetry] to be the experience... a sustained experience, a voyage, a magnificent dream, something that would take you in myriad directions simultaneously, and you could draw on all of these other voices and you could pay homage to ancestors and other languages--a poem that would include everything and yet dwell in the interstices of imagination and action." -Anne Waldman

We must endure our thoughts all night, until

The bright obvious stands motionless in cold.

-Wallace Stevens

Swan Songs

we shared this bed like teenagers
mincing intimacy, you reached for it within me
as if it needed convincing.
in love with a chemical, it bound us
(i was scared it was only that)

swindled our swan songs like elbow room on a flight

i know you didn't care if i made it home that night

swept all my emptiness that just became un-kept

hid under the pillow, you left while i slept.

first post this year..

when i was right next to you i missed you
in that borrowed bed
    we hand in hand in
paper
in love with words that i wringed-out and weaved,
what a relief to unwrap the wrong-doings you kept.
now it's 7am, and i havent slept
i'm glad you don't still sleep on a cot.
i reminisce about every time we fought.

excerpt from 'the babysitters' by sylvia plath

The bold gulls dove as if they owned it all.

We picked up sticks of driftwood and beat them off,

Then stepped down the steep beach shelf and into the water.

We kicked and talked. The thick salt kept us up.

I see us floating there yet, inseparable—two cork dolls.

What keyhole have we slipped through, what door has shut?

The shadows of the grasses inched round like hands of a clock,

And from our opposite continents we wave and call.

Everything has happened.

you don't here

in these fields
you don't hear
traffic or the
lights just that
tingle
of wind
to be felt after
its gone

swindled our swan songs like elbow room on a flight

i know you didn't care if i made it home that night

swept all my emptiness that just became un-kept

hiding under my pillow, leaving while you slept