4:08 AM or how many times can i listen to Carry Me Ohio alone in bed

safe in our atrophy

"i ruined you", you said
i was drunk again, and it sounded trite.
fermented on our bed we bought together
with our last dime, i remember
fights and times we stayed up all night
trying to make sense of our persistance
yet i still tried to write

except i didnt.
and i dont know why
maybe our stubbornness kept me floored
tummies filled and needed more,
(did you say that you scored?)
together in our atrophy
you gave me more, like i was aching to be cured
of your affliction, our addiction
it all started with being bored.

an emotional night
and then i cant write
i stare at these pages
wishing they would become something more
i havent written in forever, or felt like
 my words matter
or anything  did
it means nothing
 anymore

would it be weird if we slept together

one night away in a hotel but not trashy

it would be non-smoking and still

maybe even have separate beds

that we could push together and it

would still be friendly and nonromantic

but still we could hold hands until we fell

asleep because that's really all i want.